virtual biriyani

Donno how we missed on posting this classic goof by Bhoot (Prashant.....).. or is it a repeat ?.. neverthless

So, Shock and Vindo are one day on their way to Prince Restaurant, to join n other guys already theere.. including Bhoot.. To save time, they decided to call Bhoot on phone and ask him to give their order.. Vindo ordered some curry and said "No rice, but naan". Shock ordered a Biriyani...

Bhoot, walks up to the counter and orders .. "One curry and one biriyani without rice" ...

chin-do !!

pat-eternity

H: Hey, this Friday is off for me.. veterans day federal holiday

VindO : Kya yaar... if only we also had such hols.. in fact we should have one full week off.. like presidents week or something

S : For that you will have to take paternity leave ....

VindO: Arey, you guys know, guys also get leave in this country ......

H : So what else were we talking about ... ?

VindO : Oh, I heard it as maternity leave ...

and then after a couple of minutes

VindO :.. arey nahin yaar.. wo nahin chalEga !!

normally abnormal

Our dear Bongali physicist Quashik , was talking abut his school in West Bengal ... that it was run by a Mallu organization or group.. and then he wanted to say that it was not a Malayalam medium school or anything.. and guess what he ended up saying

"I studied in a school run by Mallus. But it was a NORMAL school only" !!!!

Dude, avoid visiting Kerala... don't think the Mallu-Bongoli three F funda
Fish-Football-Fidel would be enuf to save u from being beaten up for such statements :-)

ROTFL - 66

Found this somewhere on the net.. hope its not offensive to anyone (let know ur feedback)





And thanks to Wayne for sending/reminding the following piece on Vindo !


This happened when umd_samskritam was preparing for Sparsh 2006. In addition to the "aati kya khandala" and "gabbar singh", we actually had plans to do the "soocide scene" also, but scrapped it last minute as it wasn't coming out as well ....

Now read on the exchange of mails :

Mail 1 : Wayne_M to S_I, A_V, R_S, S_K, Vinod_S, J ... Apr 14

Can someone take a print out of the "soocide" scene script for me also?

tks
Wayne.

Mail 2 : Vindo's reply : Apr 14

I think Wayne can do that...

-vinod

after 5 glorious years........

So finally it was time for the great Simma to leave...... after a glorious 5 year PhD... to Canada for his post-doc

Before we get into the senti part, here are a couple of last-few-days goofs

*****************
1) Atul decides to call anyone and everyone he knows , to say good bye ... So much so that after a while he forgot whom all he called (and neither cud his cell hold that many "outgoing calls" no:s, that he started making a second round of calls and "Hey, did I say goodbye to you ? ....."

***************

2) It seems as tho' the legacy stayed on even after Atul physically left - atleast for a couple of days more... There was a packet of Lindt chocolates, potentially left over by our man , on the table... Don (Atul's replacement...) and I enjoyed a couple of them, before Don picked up the last one, which ... kinna looked out of shape...

"Never mind" said he and opened it, only to see a bunch of chocolate wrappers rolled up into the shape of a little ball !!

*****************************

So, 65 posts , and needless to say Atula was the greatest contrinutor.... Vindo, tried, and still tries, but can't get even 20% of what Atul used to be.... and now that he has left, how do we sustain this blog ? Are we going to close it down ? Or outsource ? Our curious fans have been asking :-)

Well, what do you think ? What should we do ? Take the liberty of using the "comments" section for what u think......

A potential option is if you can send in daily goofs- of yours, of your friends,... roomies.... And I have heard a couple of potential such characters.... apparently ones nickname starts with a "z" ....

So, copyrites permitting, I keep my email id : drisya(at)gmail.com open to such contributions ...
as long as the jokes are clean, and with some level of approval from the party being talked about, they shall be published......

never say never again !

running "away" to glory

Time for Marine Corps and stuff like that, so just remembered this one

Simma once decided to run 3 miles.... runs it , figures out his car is 3 miles away, calls some one for a potential ride !!

some things "cooking"

Quoting Atuls mom , while she was staying with us for a month or so

"Last time Atul came to India, I sent with him all spare parts for the cooker- washer, weight, safety valve etc etc. After coming here I realise that the cooker itself is not there !!"

evidently our man has burned it and thrown it away.. and the "spare parts" are sitting nicely in his bag, unopened and untouched

*******************************************
Atuls Father told us all the goofs that happened on the road trip they undertook.. we laughed and laughed for almost 1 hr.. its too difficult to write about those here... instead, here are two jokes that his Father told us that happened in his younger days

1) After graduation, Atuls Father had all his friends over at his place once.. they decided to take a group picture... and gave the camera to the only other person who was home at that time- his grandma.. just to be sure, (since it was the "old type" wash camera.. not digi) , they took two snaps...

Alas, after devloping, the two photos came- one had the ceiling fan it , and the other had the carpet :-)

2) This one's is slightly improvised: Talking about forgetting car keys... apparenty once he went with his friends in a car to Marina beach.. and they started playing "hiding things" .... one set of people hide various things and another set finds them out ... they played, the second team found some of the things that were hidden... they left the unfound stuff as it is and kept walking down the beach ...... while it was time to go back, they realised the following things

a) the fellow who was driving was in the "hiding" team

b) worse, the fellow chose to hide the car key

c) worst, that item was not one amongst those that the "finding" team unearthed !!

taken for a ride

The umd_Samskritam group expanded its operations in a big way in June '06 by scheduling 4 Sanskrit study group sessions simultaneously in the DC metro area every weekend (check www.speaksanskrit.org/forum for info). Vinod, Naresh and I are the “designated” Samskritam study group coordinators for the College Park area. So, I emailed Naresh and Vindo about getting together on Fri evening to “prepare” for the 6/24 class. Naresh sent a positive, pithy reply asking for Vindo’s address. And the rest follows:

Srilatha wrote:
Hi Naresh and Vinod,Can we meet on Fri evening at Vinod's place, say at 8.30 pm to go over the concepts to be covered in the second study group session on Sat, 6/24? We need to get together probably for atleast 2 h. Naresh, would you like to lead the class this Sat?

Naresh wrote:
Friday 8:30p. (Vindo: can you send me your address?)Saturday around 2 hour class.Both ok by me. Sure, I can take the lead.

Vinod wrote:
Naresh, my address is (address and cell ph info here, and then…..)
call me if u need ride...

(Very considerate of Vindo to offer a ride to Naresh, don’t you think?)

Srilatha wrote:
Wah, Vindo, wah! Car to tumhare paas nahi hai, car Naresh ke paas hai, aur ride ke liye Naresh tumse pooche? Time for another blog entry?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

-contributed by srilatha

the inverted E

VindO is watching the world cup match.. Looking at one of the player's Jersey (back), he exclaims ' Kya kya likha hai bhai shirt pe.. look, an inverted "E" '

VindO bhai, me thought thats the number that comes between 2 and 4 !

Dr Simmha

9006 turned 8309 congrats Atul on his degree.. Congrats Dr Atulasimmha

The smart fellow he is, knowing fully well that he will be known by his last name, interchanged his first and last names, 5 years before. When asked why, he AT THAT TIME, had pointed out "When I become a Dr, I don't want to be called Dr (my fathers name)." - and that day finally came last week !

Atul's mom is also here, has come all the way from India for his graduation. Within hours of landing at our house, she tells all of us "I will take 2 days to clean up Atul's room" .. she not only cleaned up Atul's room, but also our (common) kitchen. everything got shifted into dabbas with a label- both in english and kannada..

Next time Vindo ventured out in the kitchen to cook, he was totally lost "Hey, when things are so ordered, its difficult to find where is what. We need the mess to find out where each item is" ....

I guess so... isn't why its called a mess ?

Lunch Combo

Contributed by Saurabh Jain
------------------------------

My roommate in CA (lets call him Raju) is a character as well. Since this blog is slowly starting to accomodate funny acts/conversations from people outside 9006, I am taking the liberty to add this conversation I had with Raju.

On a Sunday afternoon, we were dragging ourselves home after having lunch at an Indian Restaurant (a buffet ofcourse), ready to crash for a nice afternoon sleep. I was too busy dreaming how nice i will feel while I am crashing at home when I hear Raju saying:

"The restaurants should have some arrangement so that people can crash after lunch at the restaurant and then they should serve coffee after we wake up. They can call it Lunch Combo (Lunch + Sleep + Coffee)."

Microbio student proposes new theory

Okay, this is about a microbio student in the area, whom many of you might NOT know :-)
Call her P

In a friendly discussion, it came up once that other factors (like generation gap in age and life expectancy) being the same, a birth rate of 2 will keep the population constant. P says "No no, if you have birth rate of two, the population will double"

Her friends tried giving her an example. Assume A and B marry and C and D marry. Assume A and B have E anf F as kids and C and D have G and H. So 4 parents give 4 kids in all. So both generations have 4 people

P was so excited to prove her point that she goes "Yeah, but you see, then E has two kids, and F has two kids and so also G and H, and so that becomes 8 na "

What to do.. too much of bacteria and fungi !!

Suggested cartoon and more

This cartoon was suggested by one of the readers as fitting the Atul types. Good one :-)

By the way, did I ever tell you that many times Atul rents movie DVDs and watches the entire movie in fast fwd (2x or even 8x and 16x). When asked what he is doing, he says "I am watching an abstract of the movie first" !

selfone !

Atul can't find his cellphone one day. Vindo n Atul start off on the Anveshan, and finally finds it... in the washing machine !!

As ATul was sitting gloomy and cleaning it up with paper towels, Vindo comes and says (jokingly) "Hey why do u wanna waste your time using paper towels. Put it in the dryer no?"

small bits

One more on the volleyball front : last week Vindo was asked by his teammates, what is the area that he wants to cover. Vindo waved his hand in circle and said "I will cover this much". To any sane person, that hand gesture covered not only his full court, part of the opposition court as well :-)

***************
relevant protion of a conversation

Atul : ....... from NY to Omaha.. from Omaha to CA

Vindo : Are you flying from Ohama to CA (no thats not my spelling mistake)

***************

Atul : Hey shock, are you going to the Indian store tomorrow ?

Shock : yeah, mostly

Atul : Can u buy rice for the house, we ran out of it

Shock : sure

shock's happy that atul has finally done something in terms of taking care of the house. gets two sacks the next day. Only to realise that there were already three sacks of rice that Vindo got the previous week !!

Such is what happens when everyone does opposite of what they are known to be experts at !

etcetera

The way Vindo plays volleyball is pretty famous.. he will be all over the court, taking others shots, and many times colliding with them and falling over them. Ask him to be at one position, its almost impossible for him...

These days people have so gotten used to it that they make sure that they call "I shall" even if its obvious to others that its their take. And thats what Srilatha did too to an obviously her's take, as she was standing behind and vindo in front in this sundays game- she said "I will take it" as the ball was high up in air, but then to her surprise Vindo goes "No no no no no no no no...
runs back all the way back and takes it just from above Srilatha's hand !!

**************************************

Okay, I don't want to say who this was, but one of the characters of the area was seen apologising to a chair on which he kept falling, after getting a bit drunk .. :-) .

the burning smell !

Evening time... shock comes back home and finds a burning smell in the house.. but can't find the source. Within 5 mins Atul reaches home too and he too gets the smell... he comes to shock and asks "hey whats that burning smell" ?

sock replies that he doesn't know where its coming from. Atul walks around the house, comes back to shock and says "Hey, are you playing games with me.. tell me, where is it coming from ?" .. shock gets a bit sterner "I told you I don't know"

anyways, it was left at that as the smelll slowly subsided. the next day Atul kocks on shock's door and declares "Hey, I zeroed in on the source of the smell. Apparently I had kept a pan on the stove and switched it on, thinking I will heat roti, and then forgot about that and went to campus. After about 2 hrs Vishal found it and switched it off. Don't worry, I will replace the pan" !!!

B T S - 2

Meantime Vindo comes up with another one : Since past promises of "I will write it in better langauge" were not kept up, me shall have the privilege of the "crude" one itself up on the blog, until any better ones come up

Vindo:

most awesome incident of Atul is this... we were going to Beltville few weeks back, Atul was very tired and he literally slept behind car wheel while waiting on red light.... when I woke him up on green light he shouted at me why I had woken him up... then he came to sense and apologized... its classic Atul joke... I will write in better word this weekend...

Atul's Correction

I did not SLEEP OFF...I just "closed my eyes for a while"

Blogger's Comment

Thank God Atul did not say, what he usually says when we try to wake him up after having fallen asleep in front of the TV "Hey, wake me up after 5 mins man" !!!

Behind the scenes-1

For movies that become hit, people wanna watch the behind the scene, right ? So why not for blogs that become hit

Okay, its now known to many that material that is posted here is with some kind of consent from the goofers. Well, given that its usually from pretty much the same folks, it ain't that difficult. So let me reveal some backdoor activity now, which gives some insights on how sometimes (mind you, most times it doesn't take this much discussion, only sometimes) the material thats posted here comes up

For the first time, Wayne send in a contribution. That was sent to Atul for his comments, since its not a direct observation by yours truly. Attached are the Wayne's version (Post A) and Atul's correction (Post B)

Post A
-------

Hey arun,had too much time on my hands and no work at the office, so decided towrite this down. I've wanted to do it for quite a while. Check withvindo and atul before posting this:

One sat evening I happened to be lounging at the house and comeevening, vindo and atul both want to go out for dinner. We are allquite hungry. Vindo wants to have something veggie and Atul says he'sok with non-veg food and some beer. I say anything's ok with me andI'll also have some beer. So we decide to go to Benningan's on route 1near Laurel just for a change, since we've been to Applebee's manytimes. We get there and vindo check's out the menu and says "Heythere's no good veggie food here, only american stuff". We all decidedto go elsewhere maybe roam around and see if there'se somethinginteresting.There was some hesitation going to Chilis but still we go there, takea seat check out the menu .. I decided to order a chicken dish andvindo says he will take the side order of salad. Atul decides to haveanother side-order. The waiter takes our orders and goes. Within 5mins, we start arguing .. vindo says he wants better veggie food, atulsays why dont we go to Hooters next door and get beer and chickenwings. Vindo says he wants to go to Red Robin and even seafood is okwith him, but not to Hooters since he doesnt want chicken. We decideto leave Chilis and just walk out the door with no concern for thepoor waiter. Now we get in my car and Vindo says he will eat at Redrobin, and Atul says he will eat at Hooters. But I decide to drivearound and still see if any other places are open. After drivingaround for 20 mins or so, we come back to the same spot and decide togo to Red Sky and imagine our frustration when we see that Red Sky isclosed! (we thought it was open when we saw lights inside from theroad). Now we get back in the card and I'm enraged and hungry...there's some argument for a good 10 mins ... I lose my temper and Ifinally pull up in front of Burger King ... and since neither atul norvindo want to eat there, I bully them into going back to Bennigans. Sonow here we are at Bennigans after having wasted a good 1 hour drivingback and forth and trying to check out other places.

Post B: proposed editions by Atul
-----------------------------------

Hi,

Some correction...I personally wanted only veggie food...I only said I don'tmind just ordering a small veggie side dish if no veggie entree wasavailable or beer and fries/onion rings in hooters.

If you want to post it post this version with small corrections:

One sat evening I happened to be lounging at the house and comeevening, vindo and atul both want to go out for dinner. So we decideto go to Benningan's on route 1 near Laurel just for a change, sincewe've been to Applebee's many times. We get there and vindo check's outthe menu and says "Hey there's no good veggie food here, only americanstuff". We all decided to go elsewhere maybe roam around and see ifthere'se something interesting.

There was some hesitation going to Chilis but still we go there, takea seat check out the menu .. I decided to order a chicken dish andvindo says he will take the side order of salad. Atul decides to haveanother side-order. The waiter takes our orders and goes. Within 5mins, we start arguing .. vindo says he wants better veggie food, atulsays why dont we go to Hooters next door and get beer and get foodelsewhere. Vindo says he wants to go to Red Robin and even seafood is okwith him, but not to Hooters. We decide to leave Chilis and just walk outthe door with no concern for the poor waiter. Now we get in my car andVindo says he will eat at Red robin, and Atul doesn't want to.But I decide to drive around and still see if any other places are open.After driving around for 20 mins or so, we come back to the same spot anddecide to go to Red Sky and imagine our frustration when we see that RedSky is closed! (we thought it was open when we saw lights inside from theroad). Now we get back in the car and I'm enraged and hungry there'ssome argument for a good 10 mins ... I lose my temper and I finally pullup in front of Burger King ... and since neither atul nor vindo want to
at Bennigans after having wasted a good 1 hour driving back and forth andtrying to check out other places

Stove : Day two (50th post)

The next day : Atul and the Stove again

This time, shock had just finished boiling some water on the right heater and switched it off for cooling. Atul puts his stuff on the left heater and makes sure he doesn't forget to switch it on.. All's good, just that he switched on the right heater. After a while the water started boiling again, instead of Atul's roti being heated and Atul goes "Who put water on this stove"

Realising that he has not only made a goof, but have shouted it out for shock to catch him, Atul does a pre-emptive strike "Ha ha ha, I have compensated for switching off your curry yesterday" !!

*************************************************************************

All 9006jokes readers. This is our 50th post. Thank You all for your support and encouragement.. eventhough it would be great if you could post some comments , your private comments help us keep going

Here's a question tho' for the regular readers.. what's your favorite of the 50 incidents listed here ? Post it in the comments section.. You can do an anonymous post.. no issues

regds
ASM

for 9006jokes

stoveeee

Imagine this

Our electrive stove has those four heaters.. call them front-left, front-right, back-left and back-right, as it appears to some one facing it.. and each has their seperate switch. This is the sequence in which things happen

Shock puts something to cook on front-right heater and switches on the front-right switch

5 mins later, Atul puts a Thava and a roti on it to heat, on the front-left heater, but switches on nothing

2 mins later, Atul feels the roti, finds that its not at all hot, turns it around and leaves, still, not switching it on

again, 2 mins later our man feels it, figures out its still not hot, this time realises that its not on, gives a classic smile to shock and switches the front-left heater on

4 mins later, Atul is done with his heating the roti, and he switches the heater off--- not just the left one, but the right one as well !! Thank God shock was standing right there watching it , if not his curry would have never been cooked !!

vin-comp

Vindo's laptop has two logins (w/o passwd) . "vin" and "stranger"

Most times shock, atul and whoever else uses Vindo's comp, use the "vin" login and Vindo uses the "stranger" login !!

*****************************************************

Sometimes when shock or atul are using the comp, Vindo would come and politely ask " Hey can I take 5 mins to check mails" ?

So many people use his comp, I guess, and every now and then Vindo cleans up his desktop, and puts all the unknown files into "UFO" folder

"Vindow"

Imagine the conversation

S: Hey Vindo, how was your India trip.?

Vindo: It was fun man ......{.......}

K: So, who was sitting next to you ?

Vindo: A girl was sitting on my left and her mom on my right.

A: How come you were in the middle?

Vindo: The girls brother wanted to sit next to Window..

K: Hey wait wait.. you said a girl was sitting on your left and her mom on the right..

Vindo: Yeah, thats right

K: So then what about the brother?

Vindo: The brother was sitting next to window.

A: But the girl and the mom were siting next to you already, right ?

Vindo: Yeah.. they were

S: So where was their brother sitting ?

Vindo: next to window.

A: Arey yaar, how is that ? the girl and the mother were sitting next to you.

Vindo: So let me explain. The guy wanted to sit near window... So I sat in his place.. - between the mother and the girl ..

K: Yeah, but how will the guy the sit next to Vindo ?

The fun went on until someone told "Vindow" what was going on :-)

Hello Halu !

This one's not on atul, but on Halu (find out who Halu is by reading one of the old posts!!)

So, during important days, some of us volunteer at the temple for parking help. The rush will be so much and there aren't enough parking spaces around the temple and so extra parking is arranged in the nearby Greek orthodox church, which is not so crowded on non-sundays

And as volunteers, you need to stop the cars at the entrance of the temple and tell them "Sorry, parking in the temple is full. We have arranged extra parking at the church, so please go there and park"

Halu once volunteered.. After repeating this so many times, the great physicist thought , that the complete information has been spread enuf number of times.. So he decided to, sort of compress it.. why all the unnecessary long sentences

From the next car onwards, he started saying. "Sorry , temple is full, please go to the church" !!

The taste of....

Did you ever want to know how an after shave lotion tastes ? Ask Atul

You see, when for a few matches Sachin or Sehwag don't score much, you know something big's coming .. So naturally when Atul did not give much bloggable stuff ("kutty kutty" things keep happening, but thats old news now) for almost a month, we were curious.. and waiting for the big one

And finally it happened...

One fine morning, the great simma poured a cup full of aftershave lotion into his mouth thinking its mouthwash ... Apparently ,he immediately realised something's wrong and all kinds of chemical formulae (predominantly that of methanol), started roaming around in his head.. And in his own words "Thankfully, I did not swallow it"

Duude, so what do u normally do with mouthwash ?!

More Random Jokes

These have nothing to do with the characters of 9006 turned 8309 ....

Our PM Manmohan Singh has some amazing ways of pronouncing some words. After his meeting with Musharraf once, he told the media "We had a nice meeting and we made a giant statement" . MHz networks which aired it, had transcription of his speech, eventhough he was speaking in English, and they also wrote giant statement. What our man meant, in fact was "joined statement"

This is another of a true life incident that my advisor told me. A guy lost his Car keys once when he was at home. His roommates found it, but did not tell the fellow. Instead, they decided to play a trick. In the night they moved the car from where it was parked to some other place. The next day morning, the fellow got psyched. He went out somewhere (walking) and came back the car had again "moved" on its own !! I mentioned it here, because first thing I thought when I heard the losing key part was Atul. He stands a perfect candidate for this adventure. Only thing is , we the housemates will be the ones who will end up as fools.. as Atul will not notice that his car is "moving", even if we move it by substantial amounts every one hour .... !!

-arun

Random Jokes

These aren't on the Lion King, so may not be as funny...

Vindo.. sometimes his pronounciations can crack u up ...

Once Vindo tells shock that his friend has gone to "trekking" and won't return for a month !! "What kind of trekking is that ?" asks shock.. and Vindo goes, "Trekking nahin yaar, treky treky".. "Oh you mean Turkey?" ...

Parineeta becomes Preneeta , Chandramukhi becomes Chandermukhi....

One day Vindo tells "Meine Egg Curry Banaya".. Junta look into Vindo's curry and do not see any egg !! Later on Vindo clarifies.. apparently what he intended to say was "Meine Ek Curry Banaya" !!

Checking..

Atul owes Prashant some money

Week No:1 - Prashant meets atul somewhere and reminds him of the money.. Atul goes "yeah, yeah, I will give u a check soon"

Week No: 2 - Atul gives Prashant the check. Account settled

Week No: 3 - Prashant meets atul again. Just for fun he asks Atul "Hey what about the check man".. Atul goes - Hey Sorry man, will give you tomorrow"

Buncha keys

Its one of those cold November nights. Atul walks in home. His upper half is fully covered, with his fat jacket, monkey cap, gluse in his hands, and all that you can possibly imagine

Lower half- ummm.. just shorts ! Vindo starts laughing at the site and when he explained whats so funny, Atul goes .. "Oh, thats why everybody in the restaurant was looking at me like that"

Anyways, Atul leaves the jacket on the couch. His key falls down on the floor, but our man doesn't notice. After dinner, our man is getting ready to go back to lab.. He wears his jacket, but realises his key isn't there.. He looks around and finds his whole key bunch lying on the floor.Pointing to that key bunch, he asks Vindo "Hey man, Vindo, if you are not going out anywhere tonite, can I borrow your keys for tonite ?" !!!!!